How It Happens
Whether you are at a family function, an official meeting, a wedding reception, parties, or traveling, you are always meeting new people around different places. The conversation is the key to give a very positive first impression, as the very first impression always lasts longer than expected. However, we mostly feel a lack of words in a conversation with a stranger or we usually go for most asked questions and that is the end of our conversation. This might be due to a lack of conversational skills or most often, the conversation ends after a particular question or row of questions being answered directly, and there is no back up of follow up questions. These follow-up questions do not mean to make an environment of an interview, rather one is trying to keep the conversation going by hook or by crook but this method usually makes both of the partners uneasy and also makes an awful environment. To avoid such circumstances a technique known as F.O.R.D is used. Which allows people to talk longer with people they just met. It is a fabulous idea to enhance small talks and let yourself get familiar with the person and arose another person’s interest in you. While curiosity is the key. You must not go for shaggy and boredom questions or do not adapt trivial ways to talk like, you see a girl at a bar and tries to talk to her you will go on like, how are you? I am good. What do you do? And she goes like wait for what???? (awkward silence)
What do you do? Is such a meaningless question like why would you ask this directly from someone, obviously everyone has their ow privacy and other factors that they consider as a priority on the other hand they will tell you what do they do most likely to be their job description and boom your conversation will end. This will lead to a great pause in your conversation and your conversation will most likely end up here. As a result, your conversation will always end up in a short time and the second person can get bored easily. Therefore, here we introduce the FORD method that upholds the essence of long-lasting conversation and will not let the other party or you feel awkward. The word FORD is actually a combination of four words, which are as follow:
- F is for family
- O is for occupation
- R is for recreation
- D is for dreams
A family raises all of us, even if you meet “jungle boy” he is also raised by the pack of wolves and this pack is his family. To start a conversation with someone by the means of talking about family is a good initiative to know someone. For example, you may meet a couple during your travel. You may ask; how do you two first met? On the other hand, when you both met each other? This will be a good starter. However, you must keep your privacy as prime importance instead of private statements you can go for siblings, sports, interests, or favorite restaurants. Even if you are on a date, you can your partner about siblings like are you the youngest or the oldest among your family? Also, you can raise the curiosity of the other party. If you are at a bar and see a beautiful girl you wanna talk to you can go for asking or engaging her like: look at the boy over there, he reminds me of my brother who’s always in for the party. By the way, do you have siblings? This will a sixer to get into a comfortable and long conversation.
occupation is the topic that we least talk about. But according to research, 45% of our life is spent in offices and in workplaces. However, it is the most discussed topic and most of the conversations talk a while when they start talking about work life. After family, if you want to carry on a conversation you can go for their occupation. Nevertheless, this is a rather sensitive topic if someone does not want to talk about his or her job or most particularly if they do not like what they are doing, so, must take preliminary measures.
You can ask “what line of work you are in?” or judging from their physical appearance and conversation style make some good assumptions like “ hey, you seems to be a teacher or a doctor or an engineer” this assumption will make them curious of what made you think like this. They will rather nullify your assumption and correct you like no “I rather belong to this or that work line” or they will support your assumption and like, “yeah, I am a teacher. What made you assume this perfectly?” you can use your common sense afterward to carry on a conversation. On the other hand, go for a strategy like “wao. I wanted to be a teacher when I was young but ended up as (describe your work) this will only enhance the conversation”.
This is the most interesting part as it refers to the activities they want to do or usually do in their free time. Recreation is the activity they do to escape from tiresome work life for their relaxation and enjoyment. Although assuming about someone’s interests or his or her hobbies rather difficult to go for but Questions like this, will help you to go into the conversation with mindset- go for your common sense as to what will she or he probably. You can go for surface-level questions like; “what do you do to relax?” or “what do you love to do on weekends or vacations?”
We have different recreational hobbies like, reading, painting, writing, hiking, so you can ask them what do they like to do in their free time and who do they like to visit.
Most diverse topic and longest conversations can result from this as every one of us has some dreams that inspire us, we usually talk about our goals and get much excited while discussing because these are a source of encouragement for us. Our dreams sometimes keep us alive and let us be dedicated to hard work and achieve them. This aspect of the F.O.R.D method is rather fun and makes an easy environment, also it tends to be easier to ask open-ended questions like what do you want to achieve in your career? On the other hand, what are your plans if you get to visit different countries in the world? You can use this in different ways and attract his or her attention towards you.
This trick sometimes does not give immediate results, the topics you suggest might not spark in the next person immediately or they may take some time to understand and respond, however, do not lose your heart it might take few attempts but the very important thing that you must consider is to be a great listener. Being able to listen, understand, and respond is much important for you to get to their interests. Furthermore, this might help them as advice and let them get deeper insights into the future and prosper more positively.